I was blessed to have been born into a family that adopted my sister when I was a child, over 40 years ago. Not only did that make me sensitive to the highs and lows of adoption, but also allowed me to view the long-term picture of God's hand guiding my parents' and my sister's stories.
I was six years old when I first remember my parents talking about adopting. My parents reached out to our church to ask about adoption, and our church connected them with a children's home in a different part of the state. I remember my parents showing me pictures of a one-month-old girl named Bethany who needed a home. I thought that was great because I wanted a sister, but there was one problem: this baby had medical complications—specifically spinal meningitis—that her teenage mother was unable to care for, so the baby was offered for adoption.
The uncertainty of the medical diagnosis and the associated financials froze my parents. They believed God was not leading them to adopt, so they declined the adoption. I was disappointed as I wanted a baby sister to play with and be a big brother to, but at that age just accepted it and moved on.
Then, when baby Bethany was almost 4 months old, our family received an update in the mail from the agency, with her picture. They felt a tug on their heartstrings, which prompted reevaluation and renewed prayer over Christmas. A few months later, I remember being in the car for the two-hour drive, so excited to pick up my sister. Then we got her, and... she cried... and she was hungry... and she slept the entire car ride home. It was not nearly as exciting as the story I had built up in my first-grade mind.
That is the story of adoption I learned early on. The beauty is not found in the short-term impression ("Oh, you're doing something great for a child"); rather, in the way Christ's love changes us over the long-term, the beauty is found in how a story is changed forever.
Not only was her story changed, but my story was as well. In large part, that is because of how my parents handled the adoption. In an era when it was acceptable for the adoption of an infant of the same race to be kept a secret, and most parents would not challenge the presumption of a biological child, I remember my father proudly and repeatedly saying she was adopted. My sister grew up so self-confident and matter-of-fact about her adoption, and that made a large impression on me.
So much so, when my wife and I were dating we had conversations about wanting to adopt (she experienced an extended-family adoption), and we both were wholeheartedly open to considering adoption. I now realize my natural temperament likely would have been to resist something I couldn't wrap my head around. I might have latched onto the reasons not to do something (money, stress, time), and absent my childhood experience, I likely would have dug in my heels against it. But because my parents followed His prompting, and because they handled the adoption with both thoughtfulness and pride, adoption was second-nature to me, and I thought it was a great way to raise a family.
My sister is now a mid-career professional in education. She is so different than me and my parents in personality and temperament, and she brings a much-needed balance to the rest of our family. I can't imagine our family without her. We are so blessed to see the impact of her adoption over the long term, and how that family legacy carries on with my wife and children because of the example set by both my parents and the faithfulness of God.
Learn more about True Vine, Pathway's Adoption and Foster Care Ministry, HERE.
I was six years old when I first remember my parents talking about adopting. My parents reached out to our church to ask about adoption, and our church connected them with a children's home in a different part of the state. I remember my parents showing me pictures of a one-month-old girl named Bethany who needed a home. I thought that was great because I wanted a sister, but there was one problem: this baby had medical complications—specifically spinal meningitis—that her teenage mother was unable to care for, so the baby was offered for adoption.
The uncertainty of the medical diagnosis and the associated financials froze my parents. They believed God was not leading them to adopt, so they declined the adoption. I was disappointed as I wanted a baby sister to play with and be a big brother to, but at that age just accepted it and moved on.
Then, when baby Bethany was almost 4 months old, our family received an update in the mail from the agency, with her picture. They felt a tug on their heartstrings, which prompted reevaluation and renewed prayer over Christmas. A few months later, I remember being in the car for the two-hour drive, so excited to pick up my sister. Then we got her, and... she cried... and she was hungry... and she slept the entire car ride home. It was not nearly as exciting as the story I had built up in my first-grade mind.
That is the story of adoption I learned early on. The beauty is not found in the short-term impression ("Oh, you're doing something great for a child"); rather, in the way Christ's love changes us over the long-term, the beauty is found in how a story is changed forever.
Not only was her story changed, but my story was as well. In large part, that is because of how my parents handled the adoption. In an era when it was acceptable for the adoption of an infant of the same race to be kept a secret, and most parents would not challenge the presumption of a biological child, I remember my father proudly and repeatedly saying she was adopted. My sister grew up so self-confident and matter-of-fact about her adoption, and that made a large impression on me.
So much so, when my wife and I were dating we had conversations about wanting to adopt (she experienced an extended-family adoption), and we both were wholeheartedly open to considering adoption. I now realize my natural temperament likely would have been to resist something I couldn't wrap my head around. I might have latched onto the reasons not to do something (money, stress, time), and absent my childhood experience, I likely would have dug in my heels against it. But because my parents followed His prompting, and because they handled the adoption with both thoughtfulness and pride, adoption was second-nature to me, and I thought it was a great way to raise a family.
My sister is now a mid-career professional in education. She is so different than me and my parents in personality and temperament, and she brings a much-needed balance to the rest of our family. I can't imagine our family without her. We are so blessed to see the impact of her adoption over the long term, and how that family legacy carries on with my wife and children because of the example set by both my parents and the faithfulness of God.
Learn more about True Vine, Pathway's Adoption and Foster Care Ministry, HERE.
Posted in True Vine Tuesdays